So I'm sitting in the office, listening to a sermon by Adam Thompson, a pastor on staff at the Dallas campus of the Village Church (http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/200911081115DNWC21ASAAA_AdamThomason-OurGreatestIdol.mp3). I recommended it to one of my friends about an hour or so ago. And I am already feeling the same biting conviction I experienced the first time I listened to this sermon. And the second time I listened to this sermon. Now it's the third time and, boy oh boy, it's convicting as ever.
I recommended it to my friend because she came into work today with a little bit of an attitude. Her attitude was nothing too serious-- just enough of one to leave her face slightly darkened, to cause her to be a little less patient than normally with people. Others may never have noticed, but I could see it. I asked her what was up, what was bothering her? And she opened up, saying in many words what added up to mean that her day had not begun in a way that pleased her. She had been forced to spend time with people that she already got to spend plenty of time with. Some of her down-time had been taken from her schedule and she had been inconvenienced. As she talked, I saw myself in her, and my own sinful selfishness. How many times have I become irritated with life because it doesn't go my way? Or, lately, how many times have I retreated to my bedroom and hidden from my housemates because I just didn't feel like being around people? How many times have I justified outright selfishness under the guise of "just not feeling like doing something"?
It's called self-idolatry. It is the root of all sin and it is what sent Jesus to the cross. We are naturally self-idolaters, every single one of us. Anyone who claims otherwise deceives himself. I am my greatest idol. It's not clothes, it's not makeup, it's not money, it's not the praise of man. It's not sex, it's not food, it's not comfort, it's not relationships, it's not status. It's what those things can and do give to me. I am naturally a self-idolater.
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After listening to this sermon, I want to talk about the key things that stand out to me about what Adam is saying. (Everyone should listen to it though. Seriously, it's worth the forty or so minutes. I've listened to it three times now and been impacted each time.)
The first thing that really got me thinking is the truth that we are not really honest with ourselves about our sin. And it is the truth! We sugarcoat and we use words like "struggle" and "issues". I look at myself and see this so clearly. I could say about my life that I have struggled with the sin of lying; I used to be a compulsive liar. Or I could be a bit more honest and say, "I love and crave the adoration and acceptance of men and women, and I used to intentionally deceive and manipulate them so that I could be praised and feel good." Now that is being honest and getting to the heart of the situation. Lying wasn't the problem. The problem was an ongoing addiction to the praises of men and women, which I was determined to get for myself at any cost. The problem was a willingness to continue spitting in God's face over and over because honoring Him meant nothing next to honoring myself.
"I'm just frustrated having to be around so many socially-awkward people at one time," I've "confessed" to my accountability partner before. But the real, honest-to-God confession would sound more like this: "I am impatient and angry when I am around socially-awkward people because they make me feel uncomfortable, and I am addicted to comfort. I love myself and my comfort more than I love people who are awkward, therefore I would rather not spend time with them."
As a last, but very important example, I have confessed to God, "God, I am so frustrated that I keep messing up with this one sin. I'm so tired of being so weak in this area!" And what does God say in return? "Why are you angry? Do you not know that my power is made perfect in your weakness? Isn't this an opportunity to confess how imperfect you are? Or would you rather be known as someone in perfect peace, in perfect love? You are not God and you are not your savior." We get angry with ourselves because of our weaknesses, but the Word says that God is glorified in our weakness. Am I seeking my own glory or the glory of God?
More often than not, I am convinced that I am queen working for the glory of my own kingdom. Not the slave of Christ, working tirelessly for the expansion and glory of His.
We need to be honest about our sin. We don't "struggle" with "pride" or "lust". We do, but why? Because we idolize ourselves. Because we have set ourselves up as God in our lives.
I will go into some more points that impacted me while listening to this sermon later.
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